I'm going to say my name is Brian from San Diego, but that isn't true. I will be 16 in less than a month, and I'm a sophomore in high school. 3 years ago, I became a born-again Christian. However you want to say it, I was saved. I read through two-thirds of the Bible. I couldn't turn off the Michael w. Smith CD's or put down the Max Lucado and Bruce Wilkinson books. Church as much as I could. Youth group and rallies all over the state. Skiing and mission trips across the country were something I looked forward to each year. I felt a calling to ministry just over 2 years ago. I'm never going to get away from God. Even though I might not be a pastor or missionary, I will always want to take up a profession that involves glorifying God. Right now, that happens to be musically. Anyways...here is my dilemma. I met a guy a little younger than me online. To make a long story short, he was an answer to a prayer I have had all my life. A friend I've never been able to find. But, I now feel I'm falling in love with him. I've never once cared this much for someone, not even family or past serious girlfriends, and now I'm thinking....okay there are two choices. 1 - I really don't love him the way I think I do because God thinks it is wrong for males to love other males this intimately. Or 2 - Everything I've gone through and experienced is telling me that I am head over heals in love with another guy. Never thought it was possible until now. Which ever the case is, I don't understand how God can condemn a love this pure. I honestly don't think I could ever marry another male, just because I know I'm supposed to marry a women. But right now, I'm in love with this guy and I'm scared to think that 3 years of complete dedication to God is now being overrun by this immoral feeling that has seeped into every vein of my body. Please tell me what is going on if you can...and how is it possible that God can hate an amazing love that is overpowering every instinct I’ve ever felt? Thanks for your time.
People who breathe are human and of God. "And God breathed the breath of life into man". If one excludes gays and lesbians from being of God they would have to also exclude cripples, midgets, dwarfs, anyone less than "perfect" or "proper" in the eyes of the "believer" and those that can not procreate. That would be selective and in many ways outright cruel. You are young. Your feelings may be transient. People often get sexual feelings mixed up with core values or goals. Your heart and attitude towards others is what matters most.
Do not label yourself. There is no hurry to define your sexuality. Many men are attracted to other men sexually from time to time and that is not enough reason to define one's self or live a gay lifestyle. It is new for you and perhaps not yet truly thought out. You can always change your lifestyle to the way you truly feel when but at your age your values and body may not have developed fully.
What do you want in the long haul? If you want children that come directly from your lineage and grow to be self loving without personal confusion or conflict then be careful as the gay/lesbian life may not allow for that without insemination and other chancy actions within society. I believe that God loves those that treat others with love and kindness. Be flexible and love yourself any way you are. God will love you regardless.
For Brian. More to add to my above email.
I am a health professional. Normal healthy people can feel sexual feelings during the presence of others of the same sex. This is transient and has little to do with the person in their presence or if it does we still have the choice about reacting or not reacting and the short or long term implications of that. Study the chakra system for more about this. Anodea Judith is a good source.
We need babies to support humanity. This is America and we should be free to live the way we choose. Anal sex is unhealthy. VERY unhealthy. Talk to a colon hygienist about this.
Gongenital/genetic attractions to the same sex are the work of God. Let them be and hopefully in health as best can be. They are but a small minority and need not threaten the future of human beings (even in the slightest). Relationships stemming from fear and anger at men (even when justifiable) as in many lesbian couples, are sad and sick and WILL threaten the human race, and so will uncalled for fear and prejudice. Don't chastise them, accept and love them.
I caution that feelings and emotions may be transient or stem from biased attitudes, a distorted vision or distorted breathing. Hell hath no fury like a vested interest masking as a moral principle. Some are confused with not knowing how they feel and are subject to being led astray by others with sexual energy and common or hidden interests that are a strong pull to brave, creative, young & abundant hormones.
The challenge for gays and lesbians is to learn what is natural or socially/traumatically conditioned and then live their lives as they deem most appropriate. As long as they respect others, LGBTQ folks should be respected and loved.
Be extremely careful of the consequences of your decisions and the lifestyle you choose as it will color your reality. Long term decisions as to identity may not be so easily changeable once thousands of day to day strategies become second "nature". Find more or your religion or spiritual path that agree with all of this and will accept you and love you the way you are RIGHT NOW. Love is senior to sexuality but it will not in of itself ensure the future of mankind. Healthy habits breed a healthy lifestyle and you ALWAYS have the choice of what you make as a habit.
Always stay in balance as best you can. As breathing pattern disorder can confuse any body mind, it is best to address that part before any long term conclusions are arrived at.
Good luck and God bless, Mike
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