by Alan Paul

I was a long term severally abused child, physically and emotionally. I am steadfastly determined to improve my sense of wholeness, to strengthen my self-esteem and self-love and spiritual connection with others. As a result of this commitment, I have spent much of the last 30 years looking for help with my breathing, which has always (since adolescence) felt tense and shallow and "locked up" and eventually led to me having to give up my chosen profession.

Over the years, I've tried every type of healing modality I could think of that might impact the experience of never being able to get a satisfying breath. I've tried medical doctors, chiropractic, various psychotherapies including Psychoanalytic, Gestalt, Short-Term Psychodynamic, and others. I've tried body-oriented therapies including Reichian, Alexander Technique, Rebirthing, Rolfing, Rosen Work, Biofeedback, Massage Therapy, Bioenergetics, Core Energetics, Primal, Reiki, Cranio-Sacral, etc.. I also studied Yoga and Tai Chi. For many of these modalities I tried more than one practitioner of that style. I also committed extensive periods of time to a number of these practitioners, many of whom I studied with for periods of 1 to 3 years, in hope of getting some help.

While some of these teachers and therapists were very smart and dedicated people who were able to help me move forward in one way or another, no one was able to help me find relief from my core complaint my inability to breathe satisfactorily.

I recently discovered the website of breathing.com and opened a dialogue with Michael Grant White, the director of the site. Eventually, I decided to travel to North Carolina for a week, to work intensively with Mike.

Mike started by showing me how some simple adjustments to my posture could give me more space to breathe, eliminating tightness in my chest.  He then, using very specific rib/chest/shoulder/neck accessory breathing muscle release techniques went on to show me how to get the ribs and diaphragm moving so that the breath could expand into the increased space he had found for me in my posture. Some of the beliefs that I had held about what a coordinated breathing feels like, had to be corrected. Finally, there was a wonderful moment with Mike when everything "clicked" for me, and I was able to sing loudly and happily with no pain or straining, for the first time I can remember since early childhood. Mike was able to get me back to the same state again, and I eventually returned home with a set of exercises and "homework" to do to help continue the development. I was quite satisfied and happy with my lessons with Mike.

But the biggest changes became apparent when I returned home. Suddenly, conversations with associates had a different character, the movement of my ribs seemed huge compared to before I traveled to North Carolina. A close associate has commented that I seem noticeably more relaxed. My dreams are much more vivid (some pleasant, some not so pleasant). A low-grade depression seems to have lifted, and I suddenly find myself easily working long hours whereas that was difficult for months before my trip.

I've also noticed an odd and unexpected difference in my diet after years of complacency, I've begun eating salads every day and generally eating less overall. Food is still very enjoyable, but it seems less like entertainment and comfort to me, and more like...well...food. Somehow, breathing a little deeper and easier has, without any conscious effort to do so, made me more realistic and less emotionally clouded about diet.

Another thing that changed immediately after returning home, is my exercise routines. I generally swim every day and do a good bit of flexibility work every day. But after studying with Mike, I'm beginning to feel that there really is only one form of exercise breathing development. Everything else (swimming, stretching, weight-training, tai chi, running, you name it) is just a variation of breathing development.

For example, when I swim now, I'm very conscious of moving my limbs and ribs in such a way that the breath deepens with every stroke, so that the breath is more expansive and elastic when I get out of the pool than when I got in. This is quite different than the way I used to swim. I swam a lot harder than I swim now, and there was a general sense of triumph and temporary relaxation in that, but the relaxation didn't extend to my breath, which was tight and shallow when I was finished. Mike has assured me that I'll swim even stronger than before, if I'm careful to slowly increase the cardio demand such that the breathing apparatus remains relaxed. I always thought that the more cardio fitness, the better, as long as one doesn't have a heart attack. But I've learned that you can do quite a bit of subtle damage to the enjoyment of your life (and even your long-term health) by placing athletic demands on your body that are out of synch with your breathing abilities. So breathing comes first for me now, particularly since Mike's given me some tools with which to increase my breath.

I've noticed the same thing with my stretch routines. I no longer believe that there's such a thing as an "ankle stretch." Sure, I do the same ankle routines as before, but the way I do them is completely different. So there's no ankle stretches. Just "breath stretches" extended out to the ankles.

Mike also talked to me repeatedly about the ergonomics of my life in my easy chair, my work chair, my car seat. When Mike discussed these things, I listened and thought he made some good points worth considering. But since I've returned home, I'm beginning to feel that he was talking about something really important. I can see how slouching at my desk for a couple of hours leaves me with less breath, and that then induces a feeling of low self-esteem and depression. I guess I never noticed before because I didn't feel that I had all that much breath to protect. Now, with my breath deeper, I'm beginning to think seriously about how to improve my ergonomics (Mike gave me a number of good and inexpensive suggestions.)

Just now, as I sat and wrote this, I realized that I am indeed slouching and locking up my breath. I need to replace this desk chair with a more breathing-friendly chair (not a specialty item, just an inexpensive but different chair design than I'm currently using), in accordance with the suggestions that Mike gave me. So I got up and did about 10 minutes of my breathing exercises. Now, sitting back down to work, it's easier to work, the words are flowing with less effort, my self-esteem is higher, I feel more confident, life seems less like a burden. It's subtle, but tangible. No, it's not magic, my life isn't suddenly euphoric. But it's easier, less work, more filled with hope and promise, than it was 10 minutes ago. It makes me wonder how many of my internal conflicts and frustrations are nothing more than the effects of poor breathing habits.

Some people tell me let go of the past, grieve the losses, forgive those who hurt you, move on toward life. They mean well by encouraging me to fly, but they assume that I have the wings with which to fly. How can I grieve the past and move on, if my breathing is locked up so that I can't fully laugh, cry, or sing?

Mike has helped me see some of the possibilities for correcting my breathing pattern, and the results of that have been simple and immediate. It feels good to breathe better. And it's very reassuring to know that there are specific exercises I can do for my breath, that will help me to let go of the past and create the future. AP.    Recommended program

When they get full of bacteria the bacteria travels down the throat into the lungs. This causes or worsens speech problems and lung congestion. Because most illness is really stemming from a combination of factors (multifactoral); Unbalanced Dysfunctional Breathing can worsen it. I worked on a man’s breathing mechanics who started coughing and spitting up mucous for 45 minutes. I encouraged him to continue to do so. I had opened the lungs and they then allowed the back pressure to subside. This back pressure of inflammation in the lung area was causing the sinuses to stay plugged. His voice got clear and strong for the first time in 8 years. So did his sinuses.